What Are Grace and Courtesy Lessons?
“Thank you!” a toddler says after you hand her a snack. This is a normal social interaction. How do young children learn to be polite?
After observing many interactions, children learn to say “please,” and “thank you.” Yet, there are many other social conventions that help people get along. Many people don’t learn these skills until they are much older, even in high school or upon starting a job.
In the Montessori curriculum, young children learn these skills through grace and courtesy lessons. Learning these lessons early can help children build confidence and a sense of community. Here’s how the Montessori curriculum teaches grace and courtesy lessons.
Social Skills are Learned Skills
In most of society, no one teaches social skills. Many years ago, young people might have taken etiquette classes. Today, most people don’t get the chance to learn social skills in a formal setting.
Yet, social skills are important skills that people need to succeed academically and professionally. When people get the chance to learn social skills, they can learn them! Even looking someone in the eyes and giving a firm handshake is an essential life skill.
Why Are Grace and Courtesy Lessons an Important Part of the Montessori Curriculum?
Montessori noticed that young children develop an interest in social skills. At around the age of three, children enjoy copying adult social behavior. In her own words, Montessori said:
“Children like to learn all the courtesies of social life. If one teaches them, they are interested to know how to greet, how to excuse themselves when they pass in front of other people, etc.”
Young children can benefit from lessons that teach them these practical skills. The Montessori curriculum includes many practical life skills lessons. One popular lesson is children learning to blow their nose. This helps them take care of their hygiene and body independently. Children gain confidence with the ability to take care of their own needs. The same is true when children are able to navigate social situations with confidence.
Grace and courtesy lessons are an essential part of the Montessori curriculum. Montessori knew that children need a holistic education that not only teaches academic skills, but also useful life skills.
How to Teach Grace and Courtesy: The Importance of Modeling
Teaching grace and courtesy does rely a lot on modeling. This is why Montessori advocated for the spiritual preparation of teachers. She knew that children watch their teachers carefully, noticing everything they do. When teachers model respect, grace, and calm, children can also learn these qualities.
In Montessori teacher training, teachers develop their character. Through training, future teachers learn to display patience and kindness. Children who observe their teachers quickly learn how they should behave.
Grace and courtesy is more than lessons. Grace and courtesy creates a beautiful, supportive community where children know how to relate to each other with respect.
5 Important Grace and Courtesy Lessons for Young Children
While modeling is powerful, children can also benefit greatly from more explicit lessons.
Have you ever felt like the cat got your tongue because you didn’t know what to say? Skills like public speaking or introducing yourself to someone new can be challenging for adults. What if we started practicing these skills as children instead? These grace and courtesy lessons give children a roadmap for navigating these situations.
In these lessons, children can practice helpful scripts that cover what to say in different situations. During lessons, children can also role-play conversations in a safe space. They can make mistakes and practice their skills before using their new social skills in real life situations.
What are some popular grace and courtesy lessons for young children? Here are a few to try:
Greeting Others and Saying Goodbye
The standard for many social situations is to say “Hello” and shake hands. This is second-nature for many of us. But, there are actually many steps. Teachers can offer students a lesson that includes three steps for greeting others:
- Smile and make eye contact.
- Say “Hello”
- Shake hands using your right hand
The teacher can also help students brainstorm situations when they might greet others. For example, when arriving at school, when arriving at an event, etc.
Similarly, children can learn how to say goodbye in social situations. For example, a teacher might mention how to say goodbye after a party.
Older children can also create posters or write stories about these social skills.
Introducing Yourself
In this lesson, children learn to introduce themselves to someone new. Children might find this lesson useful if a new student joins the classroom or if there’s a visitor.
The teacher can explain that it’s polite to say, “Hello, my name is ______” and then ask the for other person’s name.
In some Montessori classrooms, students are assigned to be “Greeters.” They say hello to any visitors in the classroom and welcome them. This is an opportunity to use this skill.
Asking Others to Play or Asking to Join a Group
Young children may feel unsure about how to join another group of children playing. If a Montessori teacher notices this dynamic in the classroom, she can offer this lesson.
When children learn to ask to join a group or how to invite others to play, they can feel more confident on the playground. This also teaches assertiveness. Instead of feeling left out or watching others play, children know how to advocate for themselves.
Saying “Excuse Me”
In this lesson, the teacher shares with students when to say “excuse me.” The teacher may try one example each day until children learn several situations in which saying “excuse me” is appropriate. For example, first, students may learn to say “excuse me,” if someone else is blocking their way. Another situation might be after burping. Yet another situation is when interrupting someone.
Each situation is a separate mini lesson. Children can learn to follow up appropriately depending on the situation. For example, if they need to go through a doorway, they might say “Excuse me, can I get through?” Similarly, children can learn how to follow up in other situations.
How to Ask for Help
Children often need to ask for help. Yet, they might not be sure how to do it politely so they can get the help they need. This lesson helps children understand how to set expectations around asking for help, when to do it, and how to ask.
Teachers may encourage children in the classroom to ask for help from their classmates before asking for help from the teacher. Also, the teacher may help outline moments when it’s important to get help from a teacher. These situations may include when a glass is broken, if someone is hurt, or if someone is sick.
Teachers can also provide children with a script such as “I need some help with ______ please.” Or, children can ask, “Can you please help me _______?”
There are many other lessons in grace and courtesy such as sharing, how to answer the phone, walking in line, respecting others’ space, and more.
Outcomes of Grace and Courtesy Lessons
Grace and courtesy lessons help children develop their confidence and independence. When children know how to manage social situations, they can do so successfully.
Teaching grace and courtesy lessons also helps create a beautiful classroom community. These lessons also ease classroom management, as students can handle each social situation with confidence and respect.
Online Montessori Teacher Training Prepares Educators and Parents in Grace and Courtesy Lessons
Would you like to learn more about grace and courtesy lessons? Parents, educators, and caregivers can all benefit from Montessori teacher training which dives deeper into the details of teaching grace and courtesy.
At Montessori Professional Training Canada, we offer several online Montessori training courses, including hybrid courses at our Calgary location. Join us and start or continue your journey in the Montessori method! Feel free to reach out with any questions. We would love to hear from you!
